And Yet Another Disappointment

I have just endured one of the most emotionally stressful weeks I've had in a long, long time, and every time I think it's going to get better (or that I've made it through without a breakdown), there's just one more thing. My knee-jerk reaction? Eat. And eat is what I've done all week even though my conscience has been screaming "STOP" the whole time. I just haven't cared. But now tomorrow is Monday, and NOW I care. I'm literally sick to my stomach right now. Too many sweets, not enough exercise... my body isn't used to this anymore, and it's retaliating. It's hard to explain, but I can FEEL that something's not right in my body. It just feels different... larger? bloated? full? I don't know how to describe it, exactly. I just feel yucky, and I've felt that way since Friday. The bummer is that tomorrow will be my sixth week of goal maintenance at WW which will make me a lifetime member (silver key charm and FREE membership). If I'm more than two pounds over my goal weight, it will set me back one more week. I came home from last week's meeting all revved up to lose the 1.2 pounds I gained that week. In fact, that was my goal. During the meeting we were supposed to make a goal for this week and describe two tactics we would employ to achieve the goal. My list: • track everything I eat • exercise at least three times. Pthhthhthththhth! I only tracked Monday's points, and I exercised ONCE! Pathetic. I'm so disappointed in myself. I feel like I've run a marathon and decided to drop out with only one mile left. I'm also disappointed in the fact that when it really comes down to it--when it really, really matters--I can't control my eating. That scares me and pisses me off. I get scared because I know that as long as those reactions are still there, there is still potential for me to gain it all back and live a life behind the bars of obesity. I get angry because I know (KNOW) what I'm doing to myself when I gorge and overeat. So the questions remain: How am I going to survive the next week without gaining still? How do I conquer emotional eating? How do I make healthy food choices when there literally are none? I will entertain any suggestions.